I Attempted Suicide – Roscoe L. Gay

I praise God for filling me with the gift of the Holy Ghost at the age of 10 years old and keeping me for the last 17 yrs. I’m only 27 years of age, however I am a living testament that if you want to be kept, He will keep you. Although there were times where I didn’t want to be kept, He still kept me and granted me mercy and divine favor.

I can recall my senior year in high school, when life just seemed to be too much for me. Everything seemed to be falling apart in my life. My family wasn’t really there and I felt lost and hopeless. I didn’t know where to turn or how to deal with my emotions. The weight was too heavy and it was beginning to consume me. Therefore, I attempted suicide.

I felt that if I took my life, it would help bring my family back together again and I wouldn’t feel that pain anymore. I remember that I was at a corner about to cross one of the busiest streets in Worcester. I was headed towards a park to take my life and there wasn’t a car in sight. I asked God; if this isn’t your will for my life please stop me. I began to cross the street, and as I was crossing Sis. Janice Weekes drove up. She stopped and asked what was I about to do. I said nothing to her; I just got in her the car and drove off with her.

Later that year, I was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes. My glucose (sugar) and blood pressure levels were so high; the doctors said that I should have had a massive stroke. My sugar was about 500, and my blood pressure was 220/180. God kept me and let me live yet another day.

I’m not dead, bound by depression, nor the things of my past. It is only because of the grace of God that I am still here.

All praises and glory belongs to my Lord and Savior!

To sum it up – IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR THE LORD WHO WAS ON MY SIDE, I DON’T KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE!!!!

Roscoe L. Gay